So it’s been a while since I’ve even looked at this blog. A lot going on I guess. A whole lot and not a lot at the same time if you know what I mean. I guess to some I am living the dream, no responsibilities, no time frame, just good times with good people. To some I’m just a wanderer, a bottom-feeder skimming by and making no real contributions to society as a whole. But to each their own. What real contribution does the nine to five accountant make? Or the McDonald’s clerk? At least I'm increasing awareness if only just for myself. And I can honestly say that in the last year I have learned so much, more than I learned at school, but in a completely different way. I’ve gotten caught up in a lot of situations that I didn’t plan on but I guess there are no surprises when you don’t have a plan. I missed a lot of things I wanted to see. I seemed to be a day late and a dollar short all around, but honestly looking back I enjoyed every day, every fuck-up. If you have no expectations its hard to be let down, but also without expectations you sometimes just feel as if you’re wandering and not getting “the experience” but then whatever happens is an experience. I spent one month, one entire month lost in Vietnam on a motorcycle. Literally there was not one day where I knew where I was or aside from general direction where I was going and honestly it was an amazing month. Wouldn’t have traded that mess of a month for anything.
I’m in Australia now craving the lifestyle that was so free and happy in Asia. Australian’s are laid back and all, but that westernized mindset is just killing me. I’ve directed a lot of frustration with this mindset towards Australians and maybe shouldn’t have been so quick to put it on them, but Asia is hard to beat. I’ve spent the last few months road tripping around Australia (northeast coast and the northern territory mainly) and it’s been an adventure to say the least. Over the last two months we (Devin and I) have had a carful of multicultural stragglers who have a love for the get up and go – who cares where, and an even larger love for booze. I’m currently working on a mango farm in the northern territory of Australia. I like the farm life, simple and very active. A bit boring, but hey it’s the northern territory… if you don’t know about the NT, well its an outback experience alright. The town that is closest to my farm consists of 2 gas stations (or petrol stations as they are referred to in Australia), a country store and a campground. Not a whole lot going on, but the nothingness is an experience too. Speaking of isolating yourself, when I was in Thailand I did a three-week meditation course and for three full weeks I meditated all day everyday and when I say all day I mean as much as I could handle. I didn’t follow every rule set out by the monks, but I sure did try and that’s all you can really ask of someone. I learned a lot especially in what I found most hard to do: be completely alone and cut off. Honestly though as much as I love the internet it really does take a lot away from the here and now because the other side of the world, the other side of your life are just two clicks away. But after the first week of this I began to really enjoy being alone and no having anyone know exactly what I was up to. I really enjoy keeping in touch with people and sharing my stories and whathaveyous with friends and that, but when you have an experience that’s just yours, words could never explain it, that’s something. You have to keep that with you.
From when I was in high school I had this mentality that everyone that chooses the box life is so completely crazy it almost drove me to be actually crazy in the eyes of the box-lifers. I guess I am an anti-conformist of sorts, but I think the term explorer is equally as accurate. I sometimes falter in seeing the point of all of this wandering, but then I think about the alternative, which would most likely being settling somewhere and still not knowing exactly what I want to do. I mean the other difference there is that I've got to pay rent and work and shit like that. I get the fear of the transient. It might seem as if nothing ever means anything and talking to new faces everyday doesn’t matter because you’ll never see them again, but you can learn something from everyone. This is almost always true. I have come to love the transient but this love may also stem from my flakey behavior, fear of commitment, general selfishness and love for spontaneity. The transient also teaches impermanence, which is also a major focal point of Vipassana meditation; nothing is permanent and everything is forever changing. You should refrain from forming attachments; those attachments are only in that moment and could be gone in a mere minute in this fleeting life. Mourning, regret and worry will almost never prove healthy although sometimes those feelings creep back into the foot-loose and fancy-free lifestyle. It all is what it is and life should be taken with a grain of salt. Its interesting to me that people are shocked when you are traveling alone, but that’s when you are the most completely free. Anything is an option (which I find makes making decisions very difficult …its hard to decide between everything) and if you gain this confidence that you are all you need its completely freeing. I have never felt so free as I have in these months of solo survival and exploration. “With freedom comes loneliness” which I did find to be true to some extent. In between adventures, sitting in your small white (always white walls) hostel room alone looking at all of your belongings, new and old, in a white room by yourself sometimes your mind takes you crazy places and its then you realize you are alone to an entirely different extent. The contraction between these two very different types of alone is quite vast, but both are character building experiences, both making you stronger. I’ve got 7 more weeks here on this god forsaken mango farm and then possibly off to India. Stay tuned for more. Maybe ill be getting creative with all this free time I’ve got here living the simple life, but then again you never know …
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